I had a mini-meltdown last night, which is incredibly surprising since I've been living on cloud nine since the weekend. However, I was over-tired (given the two cups of coffee the night before, just before bedtime, which turned out to be 1 a.m. - WHAT? I feel like my life is a slumber party. Who wants to sleep when there's a good-looking, fabulously funny roommate to hang out with?). Anyway, so back to the tired part...
I was tired. I had a "notice" from a medical company informing me I had 15 days to pay the remainder of my bill before they send me to collection. My infamous Halloween citation is due soon. I was bored (no TV, no internet, no The Fiance at home yet). And I'm still not done Christmas shopping.
And then the breakdown began. CHRISTMAS SHOPPING? Christ. I'm still not done. Mom has a gift. That's it. Nothing yet for Dad. For The Sister. For The Fiance. And last time I did my calculations, hi, there will be no such money for all of these things that need to be purchased.
Our potential solution? No gifts for each other this year.
And then, because it's what I do, I cried. And wiped snot on my t-shirt. And on The Fiance, when he came home. "But it's Christmas!" I whined, stifling sobs. "I love Christmas." More sobs. "I can't not get you a Christmas present." Sob. "It's our first Christmas." Sniff. Sob. Sob. "We don't even have a treeeeeeee... " Wail.
It went a lot like that for a good portion of 23 minutes. It's true. We have no tree. We spent a lot of money on the move and the subsequent purchases to complete Our Home, which included no tree. (Sob). We, realistically, should not be buying Christmas presents for each other. We're getting married next year. That should be enough of a gift - for, like, ever. We just moved. We finally live together after 10 months of weekends-only. Now we have each other.
"But it's Christmaaaaaaaaaas..." Sob.
I finally calmed to a whimper, as The Fiance stroked my hair and told me that finally having our apartment meant more to him than any Christmas gift. (What he meant was, "Jesus Christ, woman, quit your crying.") But it's true. I just love giving presents at Christmas, though. I had so many fabulous ideas. He has, more than once, mentioned that it's our first Christmas, and that it's so special. So I didn't want him to be sad if we didn't exchange gifts. Yet, I was the one wiping the snot on his shoulder.
But we've come to a happy-medium. Something I think is quite special. And personal. And will one day mean more than anything we could have gotten each other for our first Christmas. We're each going to buy each other a Christmas ornament, personally chosen for the other person. Something unique. Something special. Something to hang on our first Christmas tree NEXT year.
And 20 years from now, when we're putting up our Christmas tree, we can bring the ornaments out of their boxes, smile (sob) and remember our first Christmas as a poor couple.
But in all seriousness, I love the idea. Merry Christmas to us.