So, it's been a minute or two since I last viewed my favorite website. I am so behind on all things Jason Mraz newsworthy. Gosh.
So here's what I learned:
"Check out Jason's golf skills from the Monday After The Masters Tournament on The Golf Channel. The airdates are below, please check your local listings for more info."
Yeah. Golf? What? Ordinarily I would say, "I know nothing about golf. I had know idea The Golf Channel existed. Jason, you golf?" But alas, Dear Readers, The BF - he's a golf, uh, fanatic. He's good. Yes, I said it. He also watches golf. On The Golf Channel. And makes me do it, too. Do you know what this means?
We will be watching Jason golf this weekend. On The Golf Channel. All weekend. All. Weekend. (Sorry, Babe, you read it here, first).
And onto other Mraz news. He journaled about Coldstone Creamery - only the best ice cream palace on the planet. So now you have to read it, too.
romancing the stone
"About an hour after you climb out of the sea from big surf, you become a spigot for salt water. It usually happens when you get home and bend down to pull your clinging trucks from your stiffened thighs frozen from winter’s ice cube tray of a choppy lake pacific. Today the gush of brain backwash occurred in my ice cream without warning. No bending over required. Maybe this means i'm an expert now. As amusing as pre-ejaculatory fluids tend to be, I don’t care for sea salt and snot in my sans-fat sweet cream with caramel and brownie togetherness.
Cold Stone Creamery is my all time favorite establishment for fine dining. Upon entering I gravitate towards the wonka-esque caricature of a menu. It displays about 30 options but to my nearsighted appetite it looks about 30 stories tall. I can never decide what to order. I gawk with a loose jaw, lick my lips, and wait patiently for my indecisiveness to fade into a flirtatious routine with the high school girls that work there. I tend to order the same thing visit after visit. (Coffee Lovers Only – a blend of coffee ice cream, heath bar, caramel and some kind of nut) I realized after a month of eating practically the same thing, that I wasn’t using Cold Stone to my taste buds’ advantage. So I came up with this new plan:
From now on I’m ordering my ice cream chronologically according to the menu, which happens to be alphabetically. Early in the week I started with Apple Pie a la Cold Stone which is Apple Pie filling over Sweet Cream with Cashews and Green Apple Blow-Pops cut from the stick. Then it was Berry Berry Berry Good, Some kind of Blue and Raspberry social in my Sweet Cream. Hello Caramel Turtle Surprise, Made with Real Turtles! And so on. I’m up to F and nearly through all the sweet cream combos. Cake Batter & Chocolate here I come.
I was thinking about making a documentary of this conquest, to eat every variety that Cold Stone can come up with. I thought it would be funny to make this Documentary non-informative. It’s just me eating ice cream on my own schedule. So I’d try a few flavors one week. Then I’d be out of town for 6 weeks, etc. and I’d come back and eat more. Sometimes I’d eat it there. Sometimes to go. I wouldn’t give nutritional information or even tell you which flavor I like the best. It’s just me going back to the same Cold Stone again and again. Maybe I gain weight. Maybe Cold Stone gains popularity. You the viewer gain nothing from my non-informative documentary other than the urge the to turn off your TV, which you should do anyway. That, and get rid of your microwave. Seriously.
I went to a Cold Stone not by my house and noticed the menu was in a different order. That really screwed things up. I couldn’t remember where I had left off. So I just started at the top of their list and bought a t-shirt. What can I say? I’m a fan of ice cream."
And I mean it. Golf. This weekend. Me, The BF, The Golf Channel and Jason. And maybe when The BF becomes Tiger Woods (and he will), Jason will be in such awe that he will need to meet said BF. And I will be there.
And the world comes 'round full circle.