Because I need $300. And a house.

This, people, is in the classified section today:

BOXER puppies. AKC Registered.
Tails docked, dew claws, 1st shots,
worms. MUST SELL. $300

So, herein lies the problem: Which one of you is going to buy one for me? And also provide me with a home to keep him (OR her) for the next month-and-a-half, until The Fiance and I concoct a home for ourselves somewhere in The Middle? And also pay for it's spaying or neutering? Food? Toys? A bed? Leash, collar? Medicine? Training?

I'm willing to give you my firstborn child. Seriously. Dog? Or child? Dog or child? Dog? Child? I'm totally going for dog, here.

We have NAMES picked out. NAMES. We've named our un-owned Boxer. I'm not even positive what I'd name my unborn CHILDREN one day. I'm just not. But my dog? HE has a name. Or she. Buster. Or Matilda. Buster AND Matilda?

"Here, Buster! Here, boy!"

OR

"Come here, Matilda! Sweet, little Matty."

OK. So, I need a dog. The Fiance needs a dog. WE need a Boxer. So you just go ahead and let me know when you'd like us to pick up little Buster or baby Matilda, and we'll just go ahead and take that precious puppy right off your hands.