Because I know you're losing sleep over this.


At least I was, anyway.

The neighbors. Yes, those neighbors. The "we're-making-very-loud-amateur-porn-and-Krista-will-get-to-the-bottom-of-it neighbors, who had a very busy couple days early this week.

By busy I mean 6 a.m., 6 p.m. and 9 p.m. on Monday, 5 p.m. on Tuesday and 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday. It's like clockwork, really. Do they work? I don't know. Do they have whips and chains hanging from the ceiling? I don't know, but I'm willing to vote "yes." Are they creepy? Uh, yes. I saw them. Are they unnaturally loud? Yes. Yes-yes.

Here is the list of things I've learned to date. Keep in mind it makes me blush:

His name is Bill. Or, ahem, "Oh, Bill," rather.
He is a, er, Naughty Boy.
There's spanking -- Oh God, I can't talk about it anymore! I'm done.

I realize people are entitled to, uh, do what needs to be done. But seriously, people. Seriously. Tone it down. People can hear you.

Also, I charge $5 at the door if anyone wants to come check it out for themselves.

(Photo: I'm pretty sure that's them. Or at least how I visualize them in my mind. Ew, I visualize it? Nevermind).