Dearest United States Postal Service,
Yes, hello. Krista here. Remember that $100 check Mom sent ONE WEEK AGO, addressed to ME, awaiting to be deposited into MY checking account? Yes, that one? Do you remember it? OK, good. So, where the hell is it?
I am tired of opening my mailbox day after day, wishing and praying for $100 to spring to life, only to be disappointed by bills. And junk mail.
And speaking of things I am impatiently awaiting, a Christmas card from my ever-so photogenic friends Other Erin And Dave. I'm not sure if you know this, but hi, these two newlyweds are probably the most beautifully photographed people on Planet Earth, and Other Erin specifically mailed the Photo Christmas Card to ME over one week ago, and I have YET to see such a thing.
I need it, USPS. So I have something to aspire to. Perhaps, better lighting. A new wedding photographer. I don't know.
Anyhow, GET ON IT.
P.S. You think I kid about this? Do you SEE this picture?