And this is what I will attempt in the coming year. Amen.

I generally have good intentions. Like, that one time I beat The Sister with a bald Cabbage Patch Doll, I'm pretty sure I did it because I thought, you know, it was a show of love. And that time I attempted to give up dessert for Lent, and made it for, like, a day, I really thought I had self control.

Silly me.

So, now it's time for Round II of: Things Krista Is Going To Pretend To Do For An Extended Period Of Time Because She Thinks She Has Willpower, But She Will Inevitably Fail Because, Hi, She Can't Even Sit Still For Eight Minutes. The New Year's Resolutions.

Ahhh. I can count on my fingers and toes the number of "resolutions" I've made in my lifetime. None of them, thank you very much, that I have actually adhered to. It's a shame, really, because I could probably be awesome if I'd just LISTEN TO MYSELF.

So here it is. New Year's Resolutions Version 2.7:

1. No more soda. None. Zip. Zilch. Which, really, shouldn't be terribly difficult. I have maybe a soda a week. It's a little more difficult when all we have in the apartment is sometimes milk, water and Cherry Coke, but whatever. I have willpower, remember? And it's all part of my Master Plan to A) take over the universe, and B) not be a Cow Bride.

b) Run. Daily. I think. I'm still hovering on the fence over whether to become a streaker. No, I do not intend to run in the nude across the football field. I intend to run, at least one mile, every day for one year to become an Official Streaker. I say it now, but ask me to go run a mile while I'm basking on the beaches of Mexico while on my honeymoon, and I'll probably punch you. I think I've already broken this resolution. So, we'll stick with...

III. Compete in a triathlon. Olympic distance. So this is kind of a two-parter. Yes, I'd like to do a triathlon. I've done one before, two years ago, and it was a sprint distance - a quarter-mile swim, a 15-mile bike ride and a 3.1-mile run. It was fabulously fun. And made for fun training. So, yes. I'd like to do that. But I'd like to bump it up to an Olympic distance, which is somewhere in the area of an almost-a-mile-swim, a 24-mile bike ride and a 6.2-mile run.

4. Read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged.

E) Run a half-marathon. I already ran a marathon (sigh), so why not bump it down a notch, given my recent (un)luck with Marathon Training.

VI) Do sit-ups. Lots of them in many, varied forms. Every day.

The End.

I'll keep you posted, as to mean, "I'll let you know as soon as I screw up."