So, as expected, I returned from work yesterday to find the cats near death. Or at least, you know, faking it real well. They have a flair for the dramatic. I'd say they learned from me, but, well, I don't want to admit that. There they were, sprawled across the floor at my feet, giving me looks of angst. I stepped over them. They followed me.
Chicken: "Moommmmm. Help. Can't breathe. So hot. Siiiigh."
Harley: "Death. Death has become me. Groan. Oh, wait. Was that my own tail?"
So, naturally, I left. Oh, come on. I turned the fans on high. I had a chance for air-conditioning, and I was not about to pass it up on this 408-degree day. (OK, give or take about 310 degrees. Whatever).
I had a bridesmaid dress to order, albeit about four months too late, but it had to be ordered nonetheless. Turns out, weird, the top of the two-piece dress was discontinued. Uh, great. Way to be the Worst Bridesmaid Ever, Krista. So there I am, frantically phone-calling David's Bridals across the great continental United States in hopes that one store, just one, might have the top (size: 8, color: Apple), still in stock. Turns out Flint, Michigan is my Savior. So a hearty thank you to Flint and all of the Size 8 girls who never bought that particular top in Apple.
Unfortunately it was time to leave David's Bridal and once again brave the Heat That Has Come Straight From The Pits Of Hell. Thankfully, word on the street is that my dear friend, Bride To Be, actually has air-conditioning, and I guess she probably owed me for the Near Death Experience of Almost Ruining Her Wedding, so I camped out there for the evening. (Wait. Maybe I owe her for almost ruining her wedding? I'll get back to you on that one).
And sweet Jesus was it cold in her apartment. Sweet, sweet cold. I danced, laughed, played, cried, professed my love to the air that was only 68 degrees and going strong. I wrapped up in a fleece blanket, threw my body to the floor and rolled around, not believing how fabulous it was to be cold. I was cold! God, it's me, Krista. I'm COLD, do you hear me? It was marvelous.
Sigh. The memories.
But, of course, it was time to face reality and go home. Mostly, Bride To Be was tired of my Cold Air Glee, and she had to rip the fleece blanket and goosebumps from my Kung Fu-like grip, but eventually I left. Back into the heat. Sigh...
However, I returned home, the cats were still alive, the air had cooled, and together we curled up, tongues out, and dreamt of all things air-conditioned.