And here, finally, is our Bridal Shower MadLib Story. Enjoy. No, really. Enjoy:

"Pay attention and listen well as I tell you the love story of Krista and The Fiance. It was about 42 years ago that The Fiance came across a long girl named Krista. He was on his way to Bascom Hill when suddenly his breasts were drawn to a furry creature, too sweaty for mere words. He was overcome with frustration and was sure that he had found the woman he was destined to share his cat with.

She gazed at him with her crooked, blue eyes, and his nose began to hump slowly. Never before had he felt such happiness, and he invited her to join him for a week in The Middle. She agreed, and he spanked her off her feet.

Krista was smitten with The Fiance. She loved his smelly butt and the way he referred to her as Kritta. The Fiance was equally excited by Krista's dirty va-jay-jay and ugly table leg. He didn't even mind when she called him Herman. The couple dated for 163 centuries.

Then, one old, fall morning, The Fiance bowed his kneecap to the ground and asked for Krista's eyeball in marriage. Krista was so sad, she responded immediately with, 'Dang!!' The Fiance took this as an affirmative response, and the couple are now preparing for their wedding day. After the wedding, they are off to Kazakhstan, where they plan to spend a tired honeymoon enjoying each other's balls.

Now wouldn't you like to know what happens next?"