I miss running with AJ. Mostly I just miss her, but running with her was a perk. Like friends with benefits, only the benefit was to not run alone rather than sexual favors, or something. As one of my best friends, I find it mandatory for her to live within a half-a-state radius from me, but instead she lives in Michigan, which is totally not cool. I have to run alone. And laugh at my own jokes.
I also miss a time when there wasn't a stack of bills waiting on the counter for me when I arrive home. I miss wasting an entire night on back-to-back episodes of Dawson's Creek or Sex and the City. Now, half my evening is wasted on my one-hour commute home, and another hour-and-a-half is wasted on my run, in which I run alone. And when I get home I have to pay bills.
I miss when Jeremy and I could step outside and stroll through Madison on a whim. Or go out to a bar, because there was a bar to go to. Or entire weekends to do whatever we wanted, before work got in the way. Or before whatever we wanted didn't include a 45-mile car ride.
I miss Becky, too, who left us for California, and a life far more exciting than we'll find here. Triathlon training. Living on the coast. Working for Triathlete Magazine. She told me this week she might be able to run the Nike Women's Marathon with me, which I can guarantee would include 26.2 miles of hugs and catching up and running, of course.
Don't get my wrong, I do love my life. I just wish I could cut out all the crap. The commuting, the money troubles. I wish I could take Jeremy, and The Cats, and do anything we pleased. I wish we could go back on our honeymoon to stay indefinitely. In swimsuits on the beach.
I wish all my girl friends were only an arm's reach away. Mom and Dad, too. And The Sister. I also wish Jason Mraz would release a new CD, but that is neither here nor there.
Life is far too complex. I need to lighten up and realize that, dammit, we only live once. And if that means I want to eat two helpings of spaghetti, then so help me Jesus, I'm going to do it.
And cheesecake, too.