40 days and 40 nights.

I may have eaten my last Butterfinger Crisp for a long time. Forty days to be exact. Oh, and 40 nights.

Ah, yes. Ash Wednesday is almost upon us. The beginning of Lent. Alright, who am I kidding? I'm not religious. I will (ashamedly) admit I don't know much about the actual meaning of Ash Wednesday. Or Lent. But I do know it's a good time for us to give up something we truly enjoy for 40 days and 40 nights.

There's one thing I truly enjoy. Well, there are several things I truly enjoy, but only a select few I'm willing to give up for an extended period of time. And one of those things is dessert. Sweet dessert.

The vending machine in the break room is my Boyfriend. It's always there when I need it. It always gives me what I need - and quite inexpensively, I might add. And it gives me options. Many of them. What else can a girl ask for? Well, I'm asking it to leave me alone. For 40 days.

I have an incessant sweet tooth. When I've eaten too much for dinner, there's always room for dessert. Always. It's the Dessert Pocket. You have one, too, you know it. It's not as though I inhale a ludicrous amount of the stuff. I don't eat entire pies. Or whole packages of Oreos. There may be those nights when all I want is a pint of ice cream and a spoon, but it doesn't mean I don't control myself. Most of the time. But regardless, I feel this 40-day dessert fast is exactly what I (and my body) need.

If I was a smoker, I'd quit that. If I drank too much, I could stop temporarily. And I don't eat enough meat to actually cease eating it. Quite frankly, anything else I do that I shouldn't be doing can send me straight to Hell (or elsewhere), because I probably won't stop. So dessert looks like the most viable option.

Besides, I don't really do anything Hell-worthy. Except that one time...

So I hope you'll join me in my quest to stomp out dessert. OK, or at least eat plenty of it for me. Also, feel free to send me any and all desserts before Wednesday. I've got a good 32 hours to stock up. Er, I mean, no. No more Butterfinger Crisps. Or Nutty Bars. Or Edy's Fat Free Strawberry Sorbet (pint-sized.) Mint Oreos? Nutter Butters?


This is going to be a long 40 days.