The thing about training.
Until this summer, I’ve never been so conflicted over a marathon or its training. I entirely blame the San Diego Rock N Roll Marathon. I trained my ass off. Intense. Disciplined. High-mileage. It paid off. Since then, I’ve entirely fallen off that training regiment. It was exhausting. The thought of picking it up again just three weeks after PR’ing in the marathon sort of made me want to die.
Oh my god, that’s it. I’m an emo runner. Running is HARD, wah… etc. etc.
But really. That business was work. Hard work. At the time I loved it. I felt strong. Ready. But when all was said and done and over, whoa, did rest certainly sound like heaven.
So, sure, I’ve been running since then. Getting in my miles, mostly. Come Oct. 3 I’ll be ready to run 26.2 miles, as usual. But will it be a horrible performance? If you ask me right now, I’d say, “Yes. It’s going to be terrible.”
Which is where I’m currently see-sawing. What do I mean by “terrible”? Because simply running 26.2 miles is not terrible. Even a little. It’s amazing. So what’s with my baditude? My body is capable of some phenomenal things. I am a runner. An endurance athlete. If you chase me, you might catch me, but if you don’t, I’ll out-run your ass. This is going to be my eighth marathon. October marks my five-year anniversary of marathoning. I’ve completed fourteen half marathons in as much time.
I am a runner, hear me roar. Dammit.
I need to remember that. Keep it in my head at all times. Not every marathon can be a PR. Not every marathon will feel like San Diego. Not every training season will live up to the magic of Spring 2010. It can’t. Not with two marathons a year. Realistically, for me, that’s just ridiculous. I need to be OK with letting October be free of time goals and expectations. I need it to be about the enjoyment and the physical feat that is a marathon. Because it’s something to be proud of. Damn right I have a magnet on my rear bumper that says “26.2″. I make 26.2 my bitch.
And so this is my affirmation. October will be OK. I will run 26.2 miles. I will finish. I will smile. And I’ll add another notch to my figurative marathoning bedpost. My Road ID has a quote on it. It reads, “I run because I can.” And I do. Not everyone can. Sure, I can moan about an “awful” 18-miler, or whimper because I’m just not training hard enough. Or I can shut my mouth and own it.
Now, Spring 2011 is a whole new ballgame. I’m going to kill it. So for now, I will take what I have and be proud. I’m a runner. Look out.
I said it: August 31st, 2010 under krittabug.
Comments
Comment from Jonathan
August 31, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Two thoughts: (1) I saw you struggle a bit to get back in the groove after SD. I wonder if “rest” is really the best thing, or maybe small walks, short runs …. I dunno. SOMETHING. But after all the intense training it kinda does a number on the brain if we just ….STOP. (2) This is my first summer in Wisconsin. I’ve lived in hotter places with warmer, wetter summers, but I wasn’t a runner back then. Being a cool/cold-weather runner (like we both are), it can be just HORRID to run in the heat. And you are way better at running in the heat than I am. So it’s helpful to remember that feeling unmotivated AND facing hot, humid days can really take it’s toll.
By the way, I will be bitching and moaning about the cold this winter. But I look forward to running with you when it’s so fuckin’ bitter outside that our eyelashes freeze. That’s just how we roll.
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Comment from Krista
August 31, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Jonathan: Amen. We’re gonna kick winter’s ass. Or at least we will try. And you, especially, with all eleventy-nine-thousand of your layers. YAY WINTER! I know for a fact it’s this heat that’s just killed me this summer. I’m just a total wimp. Sure, I say that, and I’ll be out this winter in sub-0 temperatures loving it… But still. Hot = suck.
Comment from Jess
August 31, 2010 at 11:29 pm
You are so freakin’ amazing. Own it girl!
Side note – at what point do you call yourself a runner, cause I’m still struggling with that.
Comment from Sally
September 1, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Thanks, I needed that. I have been emotraining myself and figuring Oct 3 will be my cruddiest marathon ever. But it’s a marathon. And, as you said, I make 26.2 my bitch.
Comment from Krista
September 1, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Wait. Are you doing Lakefront, too, Sally?? YAY! We will survive.
Comment from Sally
September 3, 2010 at 12:24 pm
yep. I’ll be slogging through the 26.2 in EXACTLY ONE MONTH. eek. no matter how many I run, I still get that little peep of panic.
Comment from PTG
August 31, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I hear ya….I even mentioned this on my own blog last night – I ran 10mi this weekend with my girlfriend. It was hot. And humid. And gross. And really, really, slow….and I shouldn’t look at it as a “wasted” 10-miler, because dammit, I still did 10 miles! Why are we so elitist about our own runs? When did I become that person?
You are a runner, and no matter how “slow” you go (to you or to others), you still are going to over 26 miles. And that is AWESOME.