Rambling: WHY GOD WHY Edition.
Right before I moved, one of the cats peed on my pillow. On my bed. ON MY EDWARD CULLEN PILLOWCASE, which is an offense punishable by death on its own. Pillows were thrown out, sheets, mattress pad and comforter were fumigated. Even Edward was spared. All was right in the world of Asshole Cats.
And then I moved. My parents brought up a couch that belonged to my aunt. It’s an old couch, kind of smelly. Conspicuous stains throughout that look remarkably like pee. She’s got about eleventy dogs. The fear existed that this couch was doomed. First of all, clearly the cats are pissed. One of them is pissed, at least. Literally. <shakes head> But I haven’t figured out which one. I suspect Chicken, for no other reason than she’s the finicky cat. She hates change. She’s delicate. But if history teaches me anything, I’d point to Harley, who’s favorite pastime is shitting all over my existence. Also literally.
But one week passed. Then two. The cats came around, started enjoying the extra room to roam, the new furniture to decimate with fur. NOBODY PEED. Hooray!
Until yesterday. There it was. The spreading wet spot. Somebody peed on the throw pillow, which then spread to the couch cushion.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
After bashing my face into the wall 78 times and slamming my body into oncoming traffic, I soaked the cushion in some pricey concoction of Cat Pee Remover. Tossed the pillow, threw the cushion out on the balcony to recover. I doused the rest of the couch in some Asshole Cat Repellent I recently bought at the pet store to prevent Harley from shitting on my pretty new kitchen rug. I took a deep breath. It would all be OK. It would. It was just pee. They’re just cats. The couch will be salvaged, I swear it.
Until this morning. When I noticed more. In the spot where the cushion previously had been.
*SHAKES FISTS AT THE HEAVENS*
WHY GOD! WHY?!
I am coming to you, Internet. To tell me what to do. How do I make it stop? Is the couch a lost cause? Are my cats a lost cause? Can I tie them up in a garbage bag, fill it with rocks, and drop it into Lake Monona? (NO! JUST KIDDING! NEVER! EVER!)
*face plant*
I said it: August 20th, 2010 under krittabug.
Comments
Comment from Sarah
August 20, 2010 at 9:31 am
Get her checked for a UTI. Put a plastic sheet over the couch. She’ll still try to pee on it, but will probably stop once she figures out she’s going to end up standing in a puddle of pee if she does. And try using a litter that absorbs pee more quickly. Maybe they really don’t like stepping in their pee and the couch absorbs it quicker.
Comment from Dijea
August 20, 2010 at 2:51 pm
I love the plastic sheet – even a shower curtain liner would work while you are gone.
Also they have some stuff called cat-away which is suppose to deter them from peeing in those places.
But don’t rule out the bag w/rocks. JK!
Comment from Carrie
August 20, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Hi! Long time lurker and reformed cat lady who just wants to second the comment from Sarah. Take them both (if you’re not sure which one) to be checked for a UTI. Cats unfortunately choose to let you know they don’t feel well in a ‘pissy’ manner. We once had a cat that peed in the TOASTER on the kitchen counter to get her UTI point across.
Comment from Stinky Lou
August 20, 2010 at 8:51 pm
We had two sweet cats. One peed. Wouldn’t stop. We packed him up and took him back to the shelter. The remaining cat is too scared to pee anywhere put in the litter pan. See how easy that was?
Comment from Jess
August 20, 2010 at 10:27 pm
I have the number of a pet communicator – I believe she lives in Madison area – I’d call her and see if she can give you some answers. Seriously. I’m not joking.
For real.
Comment from Carrie
August 20, 2010 at 9:16 am
Good luck with the cat pee. That is probably why I have no pets. I can not handle their bathroom habits. Thank God children get potty trained. I have no advise on how to get them to stop but I can tell you that professionally the company I work for cleans up all sorts of awful messes the least of which is cat mess. I would say though that the couch is a lost cause. We clean them all day long and it is just never the same, sorry. If it makes you feel any better at least your cats aren’t shitting down the back of your fridge like the last CCL (crazy cat lady) we cleaned for. See there is always a silver lining! lol good luck.