Claustrophobic. Also: rant.
Here’s how my summer has been: Gone. Every weekend. Visiting this friend. Or that friend. Or another friend. Or so-and-so’s in town. Or such-and-such is going on. “Visit ME!” “Me!” “Over here!” “But what about ME?” “Krista!” “I haven’t seen you in SO long!” “COME VISIT ME!”
You know what I did last weekend? Not a goddamn thing. I did not leave Madison. Except once. To go to the beach with my FAMILY. You know, the people who birthed me? Raised me? Kept me alive all those years? Yeah, them. I miss them sometimes. You know who else I miss?
ME.
Sometimes I want to do what I want to do. Sometimes I want to do NOTHING. Sometimes I want to be in Madison. Sometimes I want to sit on the couch with my boyfriend because I have one and I can and get over it. Sometimes I want to make new friends. Sometimes I want NO friends. Sometimes I miss my friends from life before the Internet. Sometimes I wish I could keep everyone separate. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know so many fucking people. Sometimes it’s all kind of too much.
And sometimes I need to let it all out in a long-winded, passive-aggressive blog post, then quietly remove myself from the Internet and go back to my corner of the world.
I said it: August 24th, 2010 under krittabug.
Comments
Comment from Krista
August 24, 2010 at 9:59 am
Nooooooo, I don’t hate anyone. This post was really just building and building and building and then POOF! I a’sploded. Love and smooches. Besides, you’re one of the only people from afar who actually comes to ME, rather than making me go to THEM. So you win, obviously.
Comment from Sarah
August 24, 2010 at 10:11 am
So we’re on for tomorrow? Tonight? And yesterday? make it happen. HAHAHAHAHHA
Comment from Krista
August 24, 2010 at 10:44 am
And last week. And next November.
Comment from Myka
August 24, 2010 at 11:19 am
I agree. Being single is exhausting. On one hand you don’t want to lock yourself away from the world but then on the other hand you are the one person who is always available because you don’t have a relationship (aka man) saying he’s “not in the mood” “doesn’t like doing that” “wants to stay home” etc etc.
Congrats on the boyfriend though!
Comment from Mandy
August 24, 2010 at 6:33 pm
I have this same tantrum most weekends when we are ohsobusydonotsitforevenonesecond. (Siggggh).
Which is why I don’t see you enough. Wahhh. Boo. Hiss.
Comment from Sarah
August 24, 2010 at 9:54 am
I can’t help but feel this is inspired by my own passive aggressive post. I swear swear swear that was not directed at you. I’m so sorry I even wrote it now. I hope you know I have nothing but happiness for you and your boyfriend and I know it’s hard to find time just for you sometimes and I’m glad you can do that too. I’m so grateful we met and am happy to see you when I can and now I have guilt for making you feel overwhelmed. And I’m sorry. I hope you don’t hate me.